Let’s talk about mental health today…
Mental health and the ability to overcome your fears and anxieties in medical school is a major component to deal with. Well, I mean really its a component in almost every aspect of life if you think about it. Depending on your personality, how you deal with/face things, and what hoops you decide to jump through can all affect your mental health and anxiety in life. But in medical school it gets amped-up. Like, x10.
Why you might ask? For those of you who have not had the ability to experience some sort of graduate schooling or advanced medical schooling such as nursing, PA, or medical school, it’s a whirlwind of information hurled at you that you need to at least somewhat master. Call it mental Olympic gymnastics. And just because you may not be getting gold, it’s still hella hard.
You need to be able to understand all of these complex ideas and master several skills that you will eventually apply onto real humans (gasp!). And, with the want to do well (or the need in some cases) in your courses and to master the material, along with trying to master these skills and learn to deal with humans in complex and unpleasant situations, it can be a lot for one human to handle at one time.
I’m not saying it cannot be done. Obviously it can be. Think of the hundreds of nurses, PA’s, and medical students that graduate each year in the US. (Or is it thousands? IDK. Fact check me please). But throughout the schooling years (and even in the training years such as residency) anxiety is real. Needing to be on-top of your game is a big deal. You are after all dealing with human lives.
But until you’ve learned to deal with it or simply master the type of medicine you are working under, it can be a hell of a lot. Even if you aren’t prone to anxiety; it will find you at some point in medical school.
And if you are someone prone to it, this will most definitely be added to your hurdle pile (like myself).
I’ve gotta say, medical school has both improved and worsened my anxiety all at the same time. I would be lying if I claimed that I wasn’t nervous for how medical school would affect my mental health at the start of the year. But I am pleasantly surprised that medical school so far hasn’t wrung me out to dry completely. I mean so far, anyways. We will see by my second year…
What I Still get nervous about:
- Anything that requires a performance.
Right now this includes things such as right before an SP encounter or right before a PCM competency. SP encounters (or practice doctors’ office encounters with an actor) are used at my school to help us master interpersonal and communication skills with our “patients”. I’m usually really calm right up until an hour or a few minutes before I have to walk in and actually perform.
Could be because I’m having to talk to another human and sound confident while still being able to start working on my new doctor knowledge. Could be because I have to verbalize everything I do to get the points on a competency. Could be a lot of things.
- Lab practicals.
I never know how bad it’s going to be. We’ve had 2 units that have had labs so far and will have at least another 2 units if not 3 next semester. Sometimes they are fairly straightforward tags but I psych myself into thinking that I put an answer to quickly and think I failed. Sometimes they are actually really really tough tags. It’s a draw and you never know what they are going to tag and how bad it’s going to be. Also, you have to remember exactly how they have the structure spelled and named on their list (that you need to memorize). So even if you know the common name (but it’s not what they want you to call it) you get it wrong. A lot of pressure for me on these.
- Procedures on live humans.
Now, I’m sure this will improve with time. And exposure. But for right now, anytime we have a lab that’s not learning how to do a physical exam I get a little nervous. I did get nervous for the first time using a mannikin part for learning a procedure, but turns out everyone in my group was struggling so it wasn’t too bad!
But overall, learning to do things on actual humans is a little scary. You could cause pain. You could cause harm. You could completely screw up. Or everything could go well.
Really it’s a draw right now as a first year with limited skills.
- Giving tours
Now, I know you are thinking: Joyce, what on Earth does this have anything to do with what we are talking about? And you’d be correct in thinking that this doesn’t directly apply to medical school. But, I am a student ambassador. And as part of what I get to do, is give tours and mingle with potential hopeful future students during interview days, etc. Even though the tour groups can be small, I really hate public speaking. Not to mention the perfectionist in me (which has been hard to dampen at times) is terrified of messing up what I’m supposed to say!
Hit-or-Miss on my nerves:
- OS competencies
Okay. Here is another lingo term that I will probably always debunk every single post. OS stands for my osteopathic skills course. Now these competencies are similar to the PCM ones, except we have 3 a semester and they are worth way more. Eek!
In these we are to complete 2-3 tasks in front of our grader. Then our partner does their 2-3 tasks (which are different from mine). The thing is, the first one we had I was incredibly nervous. Like had a full on panic attack just because I didn’t know what to expect. It was my first one! By the second one I didn’t really sweat it all. To the point that E was asking me if I was going to study or take it seriously…
Well unfortunately for me I lost a few easy points on that one but NBD. Life moves on. The third one I was a little nervous for solely for the fact that I had several other important tests to study for at the same time. I was nervous that I wouldn’t be able to give the required attention to studying for this competency. But thankfully everything turned out well in the end.
I’m hopeful for next semester that my worries or anxiety for this will get much much better.
What I Am no longer nervous about:
- Prepping for anything PCM related
I kind of already mentioned this above, but in general when prepping for this course I’m not usually nervous. Most of the time everything hits me right before I’m about to walk in to do to the competency or interaction. But I’m cool as a cucumber before the anxiety of having to perform hits!
- Lecture tests
I’m honestly shocked about this one. Last year in my COB/master’s program at KCU, I was pretty terrified before every test. Couldn’t really sleep the night before, had a hard time focusing during the exam, freaked myself out of answers, the whole 9-yards. I even had to bring in some “liquid xanax” to help calm me down right before the test (it’s a mix of essential oils people..don’t worry, it’s safe and doesn’t need a prescription). I would rub a bit of the mixture on my wrist or my chest, and when I started freaking out mid-test, I could always stop, take in a big whiff of the oils, and give it a few seconds to calm me down. I always get a comment from E that I smell like a grandma when I wear it but whatevs.
I’m proud to say that I really haven’t needed to use this before bed or on test day. In fact, I’m usually so ready for the test to be over that I can funnel my anger/frustration towards just taking the damn thing instead of wasting my energy on being nervous. I really haven’t had to employ any other techniques this year for test anxiety either. Yay!
- Labs themselves
By this I mean before doing a physical exam lab on a classmate, going in for my osteopathic lab to work on a classmate, or going into anatomy lab. I was a little nervous at first for both the physical exam portion and the osteopathic portion, but those wore off pretty quickly. Mostly because no one was judging me for not knowing how to do anything…
As for anatomy lab, that rocks! I love getting in there (when I’m in a good mood anyways). Plus, I had a cadaver lab in undergrad and worked in an ER. Dead bodies don’t make me squeamish or nervous.
- Writing notes/feedback/criticism
This one specifically applies to PCM and my SP encounters. As a dancer, I hated constructive criticism. As a cheerleader in high school I didn’t like it either. As a newbie scribe I hated it. Once I grew up and realized the world wasn’t out to get me and that I wasn’t perfect all the time, this was easier to accept getting criticism back.
As for notes, I can thank scribing for that. Note-writing for the encounters is my bread and butter. Bring it on!
I’m sure this list will change in the year or so to come. But for now, this is what I’ve been able to compile! Just know, that if you are feeling some anxiety or nerves, this is totally normal! Especially if it is your first time doing it. As time goes on and you get exposed to a situation or testing scenario, hopefully your nerves will improve. I know mine did in some occasions.
As always, let me know what you liked, didn’t like, or what you would like to see next in the comments below!
